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The Wedding That Wasn’t

April 8th, 2020 I awake to a warm breeze coming from our bedroom deck door brushing against my cheek. It’s a beautiful morning. A momma duck is keeping her baby eggs warm just a few feet away from our deck, the trees are bright purple with tiny flowering buds, and the...

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We Got Married!!!

We Got Married!!!

Dear Readers, Surprise!! Tonight, during a fifteen-minute ceremony over a candlelight bridge in Loose Park (the same bridge I was proposed to just one month ago), Joshua and I vowed our love and faithfulness to each other. This tiny, no-frills, nearly impromptu...

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Lawsuit Update: It Is Finished!!!

1,604 Days That’s how many days I have been fighting in a court for legal justice against my ex cult leader, Bill Gothard. One thousand, six hundred and four long, exhausting, treacherous, grief-filled, gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, healing, redemptive, beautiful,...

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The Darkest Nights

Last night I was once again hunted by dreams of some of the darkest evil that exists in this world. One lasting affect some sexual abuse survivors often endure is having their trauma manifest in horrific nightmares. After what seemed like an eternity, my screams at...

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I Couldn’t Do This Alone

“Your courage was not wasted or in vain.” Today I received this beautiful, hand-crocheted lavender lap blanket and encouraging letter from a woman I have never met. Her sentence quoted above instantly brought tears to my eyes. This is not the first gift I’ve received...

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The High Cost of Speaking Out

One year ago today I gathered every ounce of courage I had and did something that would forever change my writing and public story. I went live on NPR and for the very first time, publicly named my second sexual abuser — my father. Until that day I had been very open...

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We’re Engaged!

After a two-hour long scavenger hunt with love letters and clues hidden at all our most memorable date locations (check my previous posts for live video updates!), I finally ended up at one of the prettiest places in Kansas City, a park where Joshua first asked me to...

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When The Triggers Don’t Stop

I’m currently reading a new book released just this past week, “Woman Rising: A True Story” by Julia McCoy. This memoir is the incredibly raw and vulnerable depiction of the horrific abuse the daughter of a cult leader endured throughout her childhood, and then how,...

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Health Update: Future Uncertain

Joshua and I are back in KC now after driving to Alabama over the weekend to see my Crohn’s doctor. The news was not what we had hoped. We have some difficult decisions to make in the near future. As I’ve been trying to process what the future might look like for us,...

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What True Love Looks Like

Happy Birthday to the Love of my life!! ? I’m so grateful for this man who stayed by my side all last night and who offered to work from home today so he could care for me as I recover from my stem cell transplant. I am in a lot of pain and I’m unable to walk and can...

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