2018 — A Year I Will Never Forget

In my 26 years of living, 2018 was by far the hardest year yet. Yes, harder than the worst Crohn’s years — the years I was in the hospital for months at a time, or came close to death, or lived in 10/10 pain 24/7. It has been harder than the year my parents split up. Harder than the year I first left the cult.

This year I have experienced more heartbreak and grief then ever before...

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Freedom Day 2018 — Part Two

Earlier this fall as I pondered how to celebrate my upcoming Freedom Day, the thought occurred to me that I had never had professional photos taken — not ever. What better way to document my journey than with pictures of some of the things that have had the most significance to me?

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Freedom Day 2018 — Part One

Three years ago today, I took my very first step out of the legalistic, patriarchal cult I had been imprisoned in for more than a decade.  With one terrifying leap of faith, I reached out to a professional for help and shared my story for the first time.  I was willing to consider that maybe, just maybe, I’d been lied to about my Christian faith all these years...
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Just Be Held

The year 2018 has been an earth-shattering, difficult year.  One only need read this blog to think “What is up with this girl?!  Her life is like a bad soap-opera!”

Believe me.  I agree...

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Fierce Woman

Today I discovered I am a fierce woman.

In therapy today I came face to face with another lie that I had been believing — the lie that my unwillingness to submit to an abusive, toxic relationship several years ago was actually an “ungodly” response on my part. I shouldn’t have fought back. I shouldn’t have been so stubborn. I should have submitted...

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A New Birth

I can honestly say today was one of the happiest days of my life.  Today I was baptized into the glorious TRUE Gospel!!

If you know much of my story, then you know that I actually accepted Christ as my savior at the age of ten.  Soon after that I was baptized at my family’s current church.  Just a short time, later, however, is when my family joined the cult...

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The Reckoning of Being Enough

I sit in the stillness of the woods, the sound of endless birds’ sonatas fill my searching ears.  My heart is restless.  I look around the enchanted view of overhanging trees and wildflowers, and I sigh.  Why can’t I crowd out the ceaseless noise of one million thoughts?  They dash around like unbridled lightning bolts unable to fix themselves to the ground.  I had come to the woods — my sanctuary — at the hope of hearing from God and quieting my racing mind...
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2018 BSF Testimony

Last week I completed my second year of Bible Study Fellowship.  I recently shared in a post how God brought me to BSF in 2016 and how He used it during the most spiritually crucial time of my life.  After such an incredible year of studying John I didn’t see how God could possibly top that.   But of course, He did...
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Dear #MeToo Women

April is Sexual Abuse Awareness Month.  As an abuse survivor myself, this topic has become an important issue to me.  As part of my desire to reach out to other victims as well as to increase awareness of this topic to the world, I would like to begin this month by sharing an open letter I’ve written to fellow victims offering my thoughts, grievances, and hopefully, some encouragement..
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Where Hope Is Found

My heart is full of mixed emotions tonight. Tomorrow starts the super bowl of the Christians’ holidays.  It’s so interesting to compare where you are today as opposed to one year before.

Last Easter was the most significant and joyous Easter of my life.  I had been studying the book of John and for the first time the Gospel became truly real to me and I could hardly contain...

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