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Why Am I Still a Christian?

A commenter told me yesterday, “It’s amazing you still have faith.” My answer to her? “Jesus. It’s allllllll Jesus.” In the recent years that I have been studying the dangers of Legalistic Christianity, I have seen the many, many heartbreaking consequences. Most...

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A New Name!

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” I have found the famous quote by William Shakespeare to not always be quite accurate. A name can hold so much power. It can fill you with pride of your heritage or drag you down with...

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No Longer A Slave?

🎵 "I’m no longer a slave to fear... You split the sea so I could walk right through it All my fears were drowned in perfect love” 🎵 This song has been on repeat several times lately — it’s one of my favorites. But am I truly no longer a slave to fear? I don’t know...

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Justice At Last — Finding Freedom in Divorce

We’ve been preparing for the today for months. Actually, 40 years is probably more accurate. And finally, it is finished. After abandoning my mother six years ago and leaving her financially destitute, bruised, and broken, my father finally decided to file for divorce...

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Lawsuit Update: It Is Finished!!!

1,604 Days That’s how many days I have been fighting in a court for legal justice against my ex cult leader, Bill Gothard. One thousand, six hundred and four long, exhausting, treacherous, grief-filled, gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, healing, redemptive, beautiful,...

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The High Cost of Speaking Out

One year ago today I gathered every ounce of courage I had and did something that would forever change my writing and public story. I went live on NPR and for the very first time, publicly named my second sexual abuser — my father. Until that day I had been very open...

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I Forgive You

Three Not-So-Small Words Last night was a difficult one for me. In my dreams I was once again haunted by memories of my former cult leader and his actions which stole my childhood innocence. As I finally rose from my bed at noon I felt so much heaviness over me. But...

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Eight Years Ago Today…

August 12th. Eight years ago today my life was forever changed. I walked into that Chicago office, So desperate, so exhausted, so full of hope... Scarlet carpets, polished brass, bone-white molding; Whitewashed imagery of a promised sanctuary. “He’s the one person...

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“Why Didn’t You Walk Away?”

As I have started sharing my story with more and more people of how I was raised in a cult and eventually finding my way out, I inevitably get asked quite a few follow-up questions. One of the most common questions I receive, after finding out that my cult did not...

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The Demise of the Scale

I’ve officially been living my new apartment three months now. I’ve purchased pretty much everything I need, but there is one thing I haven’t bought that nearly every home has: a bathroom scale. I’ve thought about it. I’ve wondered. ”What number would show? Where am I...

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