Select Page

I Couldn’t Do This Alone

by | Mar 4, 2020 | Cult, Lawsuit, Survivor, The Year of Restoration

“Your courage was not wasted or in vain.”

Today I received this beautiful, hand-crocheted lavender lap blanket and encouraging letter from a woman I have never met. Her sentence quoted above instantly brought tears to my eyes.

This is not the first gift I’ve received from a supporter over the last few years. Seemingly small (but deeply meaningful) tokens of appreciation such as a handmade journal, books, tea from Germany, and other care packages have made their way to my front door from all over the world from fellow cult survivors whom I have never met and I only know through a few private FB messages.

They have watched me fight (and continue to fight) in the never-ending court battle against my former cult leader and they wanted to let me know in some way that my fellow plaintiffs and I were never alone. Though tedious and incredibly invasive court procedures have made me feel very isolated at times, the hundreds of messages of support in my message box, along with many treasured gifts I have received in the mail these past four years, have been a steady reminder that, while only a few voices have made their way into that courtroom, there has always been an army of other survivors who are also using their voices by proclaiming their support.

Being called someone’s “hero” is an honor I do not feel deserving of. It is a humbling and challenging thing to hear. I don’t feel like a hero; after all a hero is supposed to be brave and strong, right?

If only they knew the endless tears of hopelessness and despair I have cried. If only they knew the times I screamed in fury over the injustice. If only they knew the many times I let my impulsive emotions control my actions, only to regret those reckless actions after the angry fog had at last dissipated. While I have learned a lot the past four years I still have far to go.

Perhaps that’s what courage is though? The strength to keep going even after one messes up. The ability to be honest with your feelings and not hold back. The decision to move forward when you cannot see the next step in front of you.

If watching my crazy, messy journey these past four years has helped even one person in their own journey, then I am grateful. My pain was indeed not wasted. The battle was not in vain.

To those that have believed in me and stood by me, thank you. I could not do this without you. ?

~Em

0 Comments

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About the Author

Emily Elizabeth Anderson is a Christian blogger and rising activist for people who have experienced abuse within a Christian environment.

After growing up in a fundamentalist cult for 23 years and experiencing childhood domestic violence, Emily began her journey to recovery in 2015 and eventually found Jesus to be her ultimate healer. She soon turned her passion for writing into a blog and her story has since been featured on several media outlets including NPR.

She married her best friend, Joshua, in 2020 and together they are passionate about educating on the realities of trauma survival and recovery, as well as supporting survivors they meet through their online community.

More by Emily

Let’s Talk About Purity Culture

Can we talk about the negative effects of Purity Culture for a bit? As a recently married woman who grew up in the height of the modern Purity Movement and choose to remain a virgin until marriage, I am beginning to see even more reasons why this culture and its...

Why Am I Still a Christian?

A commenter told me yesterday, “It’s amazing you still have faith.” My answer to her? “Jesus. It’s allllllll Jesus.” In the recent years that I have been studying the dangers of Legalistic Christianity, I have seen the many, many heartbreaking consequences. Most...

My Story of Sexual Assault

Today I’d like to share a highly vulnerable story with you in the hopes of getting one very important message across: You are NEVER at fault for your sexual assault. EVER. Shortly before I met my husband, I met another man through online dating. He was from out of...

An Apology to Fellow Survivors

Today I want to share an excerpt from a new memoir I happened upon last week written by cult survivor Charity Rissler titled “Where the Willow Weeps: The Inside Story of Growing Up in a Cult, and how I Found Freedom in Christ.” I’d never heard of this cult called “The...

One Year Ago Today…

This picture popped up on my FB memories today with the caption: Off to Chicago to see some of the most dear people in the world to me. A two hour flight means plenty of time to churn out a new chapter or two. #scandalousgrace #kiakaha #fiercewomen Wow. What a memory....

2021: The Year of Nourishment

For the past few years I’ve picked a word for the year. It’s a way of laying out a focus for the entire year — something I can reflect on each day as I do life. I always pray about it and God always brings the word to my mind. This week He brought me my word:...