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Overwhelming, Never-Ending, Reckless Love

by | Jun 22, 2018 | Freedom, Gods Love, Grace, Scandalous Grace

It was a bitter cold night in February 2017. I remember it like it was yesterday. I lay on the floor of my bedroom. Curled up in a fetal position, body shaking, my tears fell away into the thick carpet threads.

I had been wrestling with my faith for several months. I had come to the realization that for the past decade I had been deceived by a false Gospel. Instead of a stream of living water quenching my thirst with satisfying refreshment, my faith had become a barren wilderness. Draining me. Starving me. Slowly choking out every bit of life within me.

Instead of freedom, my faith had become a check-list of do’s and don’ts and I lived in constant fear taking a misstep. My motives seemed pure enough. I loved my Lord dearly and sincerely desired to live a life pleasing to Him. But over time my innocent motive had transformed into a chokehold of perfectionism and the spirit of the law had become suffocated out by the endless letters.

And so, finding myself lost in this wilderness, I cried out for help. “I am lost Jesus! I have wandered away from the flock and I cannot find my way back. I have tried to walk out of my legalistic prison for months now, but I can’t do it. I can no longer walk. I need you to CARRY me out, Jesus. Carry me back to your fold!”

It was a prayer of rock bottom. A desperate plea to my Shepherd to carry me to safety. And you know what? He did just that. More specifically, His LOVE did it. His overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love. A love that tears down lies and climbs over mountains to get to me.

What’s even more beautiful? I didn’t have to earn this immeasurable love. I certainly didn’t deserve it. Yet, Jesus poured out this love anyway. And that is more than just love, that is grace.



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About the Author

Emily Elizabeth Anderson is a Christian blogger and rising activist for people who have experienced abuse within a Christian environment.

After growing up in a fundamentalist cult for 23 years and experiencing childhood domestic violence, Emily began her journey to recovery in 2015 and eventually found Jesus to be her ultimate healer. She soon turned her passion for writing into a blog and her story has since been featured on several media outlets including NPR.

She married her best friend, Joshua, in 2020 and together they are passionate about educating on the realities of trauma survival and recovery, as well as supporting survivors they meet through their online community.

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