Today I’d like to share a highly vulnerable story with you in the hopes of getting one very important message across: You are NEVER at fault for your sexual assault. EVER. Shortly before I met my husband, I met another man through online dating. He was from out of...
Freedom Day 2020
Freedom Day 2020 Five years ago today, I began my journey out of a cult. I walked into a counselors office for the first time in my life and asked for help. I didn’t fully understand what kind of trauma I had endured; after all, it was my “normal.” I began the...
Lawsuit Update: It Is Finished!!!
1,604 Days That’s how many days I have been fighting in a court for legal justice against my ex cult leader, Bill Gothard. One thousand, six hundred and four long, exhausting, treacherous, grief-filled, gut-wrenching, heart-stopping, healing, redemptive, beautiful,...
The Darkest Nights
Last night I was once again hunted by dreams of some of the darkest evil that exists in this world. One lasting affect some sexual abuse survivors often endure is having their trauma manifest in horrific nightmares. After what seemed like an eternity, my screams at...
Just Say No?
To the people who say, “Why don’t women just say no?” or “Just report it” or even “Workplace sexual harassment doesn’t exist anymore”, I have a few words for you. I am a full time Uber driver. Being a female driver definitely puts me in the minority. Even though this...
The Purity Movement Broke Me
The purity movement broke me. For the last twenty-four hours the shocking news has been rippling through the evangelical and exvangelical communities: Joshua Harris, the author who essentially birthed the modern-day purity and courtship movements, announced yesterday...
I Won’t Be Speechless
“You’re dishonoring him.” “Why can’t you keep the past in the past?” “You’re bitter.” “It’s not appropriate to speak of it publicly; this is a private matter.” “Why would you want to shame yourself?” These are all words that have been said to me since publicly naming...
Two Trees
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. As a survivor of long-term sexual abuse, this is a highly personal topic, and dear to my heart. I have have been fortunate enough to work through my pain through extensive therapy, but many victims have not been so lucky. Today...