2020. The year of Restoration. I remember feeling the excitement of the beginning of the year saying “new decade, new life” just like everyone else. But then, just like everyone else, this year turned out nothing like what I expected. Here are some of the challenges...
A New Name!
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” I have found the famous quote by William Shakespeare to not always be quite accurate. A name can hold so much power. It can fill you with pride of your heritage or drag you down with...
Freedom Day 2020
Freedom Day 2020 Five years ago today, I began my journey out of a cult. I walked into a counselors office for the first time in my life and asked for help. I didn’t fully understand what kind of trauma I had endured; after all, it was my “normal.” I began the...
The Modesty Files: A New Podcast on Toxic Fundamentalism
I woke up just a touch nervous today. This morning a podcast episode has been released where I talk quite frankly about the messy details of my trauma story. A few months ago I received an email from a group of three sisters who run a new podcast called The Modesty...
The God Who Rescues
"He will rescue the poor when they cry to Him; He will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them. He feels pity for the week and the needy, and He will rescue them. He will redeem them from oppression and violence, for their lives are precious to him." —Psalm...
Happy Six-Months, My Love!
Happy sixth month anniversary to the love of my life!! I never dreamed marriage could be so sweet, but I guess that‘s what happens when you marry your best friend. ? I’ve absolutely loved our continued traditions of four-hour long coffee dates, spontaneous...
Justice At Last — Finding Freedom in Divorce
We’ve been preparing for the today for months. Actually, 40 years is probably more accurate. And finally, it is finished. After abandoning my mother six years ago and leaving her financially destitute, bruised, and broken, my father finally decided to file for divorce...
The Body Holds Trauma
The body holds trauma. This past week I’ve dealt with an unexpected flare up of my chronic illness. I’ve also dealt with a frightening stream of relentless nightmares and last night a rare panic attack appeared out of no where. After the panic attack told my husband I...
I Am No Longer Praying For Healing
In the last two months I have made a large shift in my belief system. I am no longer going to pray for God to heal me of my chronic illness. You may have noticed I’ve been very quiet lately. Almost immediately after my marriage in March, my health took another drastic...
When Suffering Feels Too Great
The last few months have been some of the most trying times I think this country has endured in decades. Unspeakable pain and heartache has flooded into countless lives and hardly anyone has escaped the devastation. As I read my Bible this morning this passage stuck...