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The Darkest Nights

by | Mar 6, 2020 | #MeToo, PTSD, Sexual Abuse

Last night I was once again hunted by dreams of some of the darkest evil that exists in this world. One lasting affect some sexual abuse survivors often endure is having their trauma manifest in horrific nightmares.

After what seemed like an eternity, my screams at last woke me and I lay in bed shaking and hyperventilating. I was terrified to fall back asleep so I grabbed my Jesus Calling and turned on some worship music and listened until the heaviness in my eyes finally overcame my fears and I drifted back to sleep.

This morning I have felt a deep heaviness over me as the violent scenes of evil and violation keep flashing before my eyes and coursing through my body. I’ve dealt with these dreams for 12 years now and when I have an especially terrible one I often feel that darkness hover over me for weeks, but with wedding planning and work consuming my days, I knew I couldn’t let myself be dragged down for that long.

So I began to play scripture songs in my speakers this morning, applied some Trauma Life and Valor essential oil blends, and prayed for Jesus to cast the darkness away. The heaviness is not completely gone, but I do have more peace that, while The Enemy may tease and taunt me with such darkness, I cannot be overcome by it because I have been covered by the blood of Jesus.

Just because Jesus came and defeated death doesn’t mean that darkness no longer exists. It means that the Light shines amidst the darkest and it is not overcome by it.

If you’re struggling with toxic thoughts from The Enemy today, remember that he cannot overcome a child redeemed by Jesus. The light will always shine brighter. It will always bring hope and healing. We must trust in the Light and not be afraid. ?

The light that shines in the darkness, yet the darkness did not overcome it.

~ John 1:5



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About the Author

Emily Elizabeth Anderson is a Christian blogger and rising activist for people who have experienced abuse within a Christian environment.

After growing up in a fundamentalist cult for 23 years and experiencing childhood domestic violence, Emily began her journey to recovery in 2015 and eventually found Jesus to be her ultimate healer. She soon turned her passion for writing into a blog and her story has since been featured on several media outlets including NPR.

She married her best friend, Joshua, in 2020 and together they are passionate about educating on the realities of trauma survival and recovery, as well as supporting survivors they meet through their online community.

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