“Triggers are our teachers.”
~ Dr. Nicole LePera
A Gentle Parenting Blog that I follow on FB (Flourishing Home’s and Families — check them out!!) shared this quote today. I instantly thought, “Wow, this is SO true!”
My husband, Joshua, and I were in our counselors office earlier this week to discuss this very topic. Five months into marriage and we’ve both noticed a pattern of a few things that each of us do that annoys or upsets the other. We didn’t know why. Our counselor surprised us when she said, “You’re getting triggered.”
The good news is, triggers can be a good thing if you know how to handle them! Josh and I now know when we’re feeling that certain prickly feeling hit us, we’re actually being triggered.
The person that’s being triggered needs to ask for some space, then in self-reflection try to pin-point where that trigger originated (usually from childhood), then work through the trigger by routing themself in the truth, and then come back together with their spouse and talk through the scenario without the high emotions of being triggered.
Whether you’ve been through severe childhood trauma or not, everyone has triggers. As an adult, you have the choice to either use them as opportunities to grow, or to repeat the toxic patterns of those before you.